Hey Santa Don't Forget About Me....

So Christmas is officially 13 days away. Wow time is flying by, and I know that everyone is out trying to find the right gifts for those who are special to us or even those who we would like to spread a little cheer to. It is very easy to splurge on others this time of year and forget about ourselves.  This year I say add yourself to the list. You have worked hard, and have undoubtedly sacrificed something this year for someone else. So instead of not even thinking of yourself, add your name on the list. Remember that gifting has to do with the thought and not the price. So, the gift for yourself could be something small like a new tube of lipstick or something your have been eyeing for months like that Michael Kors bag you have been telling yourself is to expensive.  If you can spend a couple of hundred bucks on presents for others you can do it for yourself . Remember you matter also.

Here is my list: Note I will not be getting all of these things but I will pick something from the list to pick up just for me.




    


As you can see I do not want much....

I have been debating rather or not I need an Ipad mini, will I really use it? Well I have come to the conclusion that it is a must. I find myself in bed wanting to watch movies on Netflix or search the net but hating to deal with my laptop. The Ipad mini is the perfect problem solver.

I have read some really good reviews on the 12 Tribes of Hattie, so I'm going to pick it up soon and spend a day engrossed in a the book. Plus it's an Oprah book club pick. Need I say more. This may be my Sunday plan of action. All is missing is a nice cup of  Tea with some Honey and Lemon.

I am in the process of expanding SheMogul, so this book is more of business research than a personal present. I have also read great reviews on Fashion 2.0 Blogging Your Way to the Front Row.

Lancôme's new fragrance La Vie Est Belle is amazing. Have you ever walked into a department store and smelt a fragrance and had to know what it was? Well La Vie Est Belle is it. Every time I smell it I fall in love all over again. It has a deep sweet scent, while being elegant and modern at the same time. It is definitely a scent that can be worn for many occasions, daily, date night, special occasion, and even as a signature scent. Love, Love, Love It,  must have it!

 M.A.C's Girl About Town. It is reviewed as the perfect pink lipstick for all women, even dark skin beauties. I want it for no other reason as to add it to my lipstick collection.

Finally the Rachael Roy Blue Suede pump. Ladies need I say more. They are Fab. A great shoe to wear to the office or for a girls night out.

Now my decision is which do I get....One of them or two of them? Oh yeah, my Birthday is 4 days after Christmas... so double gifts for me!!! I'm just saying.

I would love to know what's on your Christmas wish list!

Shameka

Wrapping up 2012: My Three Steps to Planning for an Extrodinare Year

While on the hunt for a Christmas Gift for an employee party gift exchange at Walgreen's ( don't ask Lol), I finally found a copy of the January 2013 Essence. Alicia's happy and free look got my attention, so as any other true Mag Addict, I picked up my very first issue of the new year.

Taken from the internet

Flipping through the mag filled with tips and tricks to prepare for the New Year,  I started to think about the New Year, and how excited I am to have a fresh start. To put 2012 in a box and store it away. Let me say that this year was not a bad year, however this year has been filled with many challenges that have rocked me to my core yet have created a stronger better me. For that I am grateful.

Like most people wrapping up the previous year and planning for a new year included watching the ball drop, then spewing out some half hearted resolutions that I already knew that I wasn't going to keep. Well not this year. This year I'm going to put a little more effort, and time into this thing.

My first step is to reflect on the year as whole. In the new year I want to take with me the things that were successful and leave those things behind that did not work. I want to recognize my success and identify what made them things possible.  I also want to document my failures and identify why they were unsuccessful and what I could do in the future to increase my success.

          It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved but by reflection, force of character and judgment

Marcus Tullius Cicero

After reflection I plan to take a hard look at where I currently stand and where I want to go. It would be foolish to just jump into the new year without really understanding where I am in this year.

In order to succeed your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure

Bill Cosby

 

Finally I want to set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely.

 

 

Learn from the past. set vivid detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have control: NOW

Dennis Waitley

 

 

These are just my thoughts of for preparing for the new year. Look out for more ways I plan to prepare for 2013. I really want to know how you plan to prepare for the New Year. What are some tips and tricks that have worked for you to ensure that your year gets off to the right start?

 

 

Shameka



 



Love List: Top 5 Beauty Must Haves For November

November for me has been all about creating a beauty routine that works for me. I have found myself super busy this month getting to know my way around my new city and adapting to the heat here in Houston so the things that worked well for me in South Carolina need a bit of updating. For me my biggest concern is making sure my skin looks great. So I have really sworn off makeup ( foundation) unless it is totally necessary. This means when I go out I need to look naturally awesome. Here are the things I have fell in love with this month that have kept me gorgeous....

Dickinsons Witch Hazel Pore Perfecting Toner does a great job of keeping my face clean. I use it after I wash my face to remove any residue, after a workout to wipe away sweat or any time I want a quick cleanse. I brought my bottle from Walgreens for about $5 bucks.

Rose bud Salve, oh how I love thee. I never leave the house with out it. It is extremely moisturizing and gives the lips a nice rosy tint. Also great for layering under lip gloss or lipstick. I picked up this at Bath and Body Works for  about $5.00.





This cucumber and aloe mist is perfect for a pick me up after a long day, or hours of traveling. I like to spray it to give my skin a refresher if I am going from work to dinner or something special. I found this product at target for $1 buck.




NYX lipgloss in any shade is amazing. I have the Queen of Africa a really deep purple color and Natural Pink, which is exactly what the name claims it to be. These glosses are very moisturizing, they glide on the lips easily. The color is amazing. They are very pigmented. For those of you who love the true color of lipsticks and the softness of a gloss this gloss is for you. I found this product at my local beauty supply store for...wait for it....$1.99. Bam! I will be purchasing more colors and will definitely write about it.

Cetaphil Moisturizer is a life saver.  Although my skin is oily it is sensitive. I have to be careful that the products that I use on my skin do not irritate it or clog my pores which cause me to break out. Cetaphil moisturizes and protects without clogging or irritating my skin. I have been using this product for a while and do not see myself switching to anything else. If you are looking for something mild yet moisturizing this is it. I usually buy this product from target for $11.99.



I am finding that being naturally beautiful is far better than piling on tons of makeup. Now do not get me wrong I love make up. It allows me to switch up my look and enhance the beauty I already have, but when I wipe it all away I still want to be breathe taking....


What are your favorite beauty products for the month of November?

Shameka

Lessons Learned from RHOA

Taken from the Internet

I can't lie, nor am I ashamed at the fact that I have been a fan of the Real House Wives of Atlanta since the very first season. The show makes for some good t.v. ( in my Wendy Williams voice). As the show progresses, and cast members leave, and new cast members come their is one thing that I can say about those who remain, they really have used the opportunity to their advantage. Looking past the drama, the fights, and the attitudes I have learned some very valuable lessons from the ladies.

1. Just because you have money does not mean you have to make sure everyone knows...i.e. ball on a budget...lol. Thanks Kandi for the tip.

2. Take advantage of every opportunity. Use them the create something new. This is a very big theme on the show, many of the ladies have parlayed their success on the show to other ventures such as Pheadra's funeral home business...!? Need I say more.

3. It doesn't matter how good you look on the outside, if the inside is messed up it REALLY makes you an UGLY person ( Kenya is a prime example of that).

4. Friendships do fade and fall apart for various reasons. Sometimes you have to let people go to allow other things to come into your life. The ending of NeNe and Kims relationship brought great things into their lives.

5. Stay in your lane, be the best at what it is that you do. The ladies would not be half as successful if they were all trying to do the same things. Everybody can't be Beyonce, but you can be the best at what you do and who your are..


RHOA is some good T.V., but if you watch closely you can pick up some tips that could help you make some key changes in your life.

What do you think? Lets talk about it.


Shameka

Black Friday, Survival Kit

Black Friday  approaching fast. Department stores are working hard to get ready for the mass of people that will be hitting their doors in the next couple of days. Pushing, shoving, running. ducking, bobbing, weaving, waiting and hurrying are all apart of the Black Friday experience. If you are planning to fight the crowd for good deals than you need to be prepared.

5 Things to help you survive your black Friday adventure...

1. Charged tablet, or smart phone, so you can tweet about the madness, check with your friends about deals in other stores, and check out prices on line. You can also plan your shopping agenda based on what time deals take place at certain store and what you plan to get

2. Small/ medium over the shoulder bag. You want something light weight, that will fit all of your essentials plus will not weigh you down. Plus your hands will be free to grab your goods and go, you will not have to worry about where to put your purse. Check out this bag from ASOS.

 Asos.com

3.  If I have to tell you this than it is obvious this is your first time battling lines. Protect your feet from the cold and the concrete with a pair of cute kicks....loving these Dunks....

Nordstrom.com $85.00

4. Snack + Espresso + Water= Sanity...need I say more? Throw some almonds, an apple,  and a bottle of water in your bag... and if you must, make a Starbucks run before the madness begins, especially if you are going to be out for more than a couple of hours.

5. A very calm and patient friend. The one who is going to talk you out of pushing the old lady or arguing over the last sale item that you really don't need with some random person. Hey we want you to make it home in one piece.

What's in your Black Friday Survival Kit?

Shameka

Why Not Just Believe....

For truly I say to you, If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, move from here to there; and it will move and nothing will be impossible to you

Matthew 17:20

While having dinner with one of my friends the topic of belief arose in a discussion about religion. My friend began to tell me about the works of Jesus and how he could not perform many miracles in his home town because the people did not believe. I have been thinking about how powerful believing is. Knowing something is true despite what you see or feel.

BELIEVE

 1. To accept something as true, genuine or real 

2. To have a firm conviction as the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something

Believing is an verb, not a noun. It is something that you do, and not just something you say. It takes work and here are a few ways to turn your doubt into belief:

1.     See it 

• Go to a quiet place and imagine how it would look, taste, and feel to have what ever it is that you believe. Remember with out a vision the people shall parish. 
• Make a vision board, post pictures or words that inspire you or represent what you want.
• Post positive quotes and affirmations to remind you of what you want to believe

I want to be stylish, fabulous and chic as you can see on my vision board. Now I just need to believe that I am, that's the only way I will be....

2. Write it down

• After you see it you should have a clear picture of what is that you want write an affirmation ( start your affirmation with I am)
• Write your business plan
• Write your goals

I am Stylish, Fabulous and Chic

I say this every morning as I am getting dress to remind me what I want to be.....

3. Do it!

• Now it's time to take action. Speak it, claim it, declare it, walk in it, be it....you do not truly believe unless you are taking action, no matter how bad it seems, how far away, how impossible. The more you believe the harder you work.

Now all that is left is for me to make an efforts when I am shopping to pick items that fit that category, and before I know it I'm stylish, fabulous, and chic.

Take this into consideration:

Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe

Mark Victor Hansen

Then he touched their eyes saying " it shall be done to you according to your faith."

Matthew 15:28

Spend the week thinking about what you believe and ask yourself does it line up with the life that you want.... if not you now have the tools to believe in something different.

Connect with me on twitter @shemogul and let me know how your beliefs changed this week, or leave a comment below.

Shameka

Love List...+ My Letter to Michelle

The weekend is just around the corner. Another week down. I'm so glad that I made it , its the perfect time to reflect on the things that made this week awesome. Check out my list and think about the big or small things that made this week unique for you...

MY LOVE LIST

1. Chunky Monkey Ice Cream, one spoonful after dinner made the night just right.

2. An extra hour of sleep...need I say more.

3. My family, they are so supportive. I would not have been able to do half of what I have done with them...love you guys <3

4. Hearing KING talk his baby talk...it made the 3,000 mile distance evaporate.

5. Texts from PH. D Tracey Gunter they keep me thinking, and checking myself.

6. Barack gets to serve us again.

7. I'm as open as ever to new experiences, opportunities, and relationships  ( *smile*)

MY LETTER TO MICHELLE

Dear Michelle,

I assume you have gotten a million letters from a million young women across the country, let me say that I do not mind being  one-million and one. I am writing to say thank-you, not only for me but for my daughters yet to come. For the generations of women who needed a viable role model depicting all the hats a women  can wear with grace, love, influence, and victory. You have given us permission to shine, and be great at all the things we love. Watching you love and support Barack, nurture your daughters and influence the world teaches me that nothing is to hard when you put your mind to it. You have inspired me to live in my own greatness and for that I say thank-you.


Sincerely,
Shameka

My Journey to Gabrielle Union's Skin

One of my goals for the next 90 days is to improve my texture tone and overall quality of my skin. I want my skin to pop, glow and be as smooth as Gabrielle Union's. So I have done my research ( on you-tube of course) and here is what I found out.

1. You have to get to know your skin. What works for me may not work for you.

2. Invest in some quality products. They do not have to be really expensive but they need to be able to do the work.

3. Clean. Exfoliate. Moisturize. And in that order. Don't skip either of these steps and also do the regime morning and night. This is not just for your face but for your body.

4. A monthly facial does wonders. It gets all the things that you missed

5. Stay hydrated. If your skin is dull and dry it may be because your dehydrated. Dink a cup of water before you go to bed and also when you wake up in the morning.

6. Exercise. It gets the blood flowing and helps release the toxins in your pores. If you don't believe me., look in the mirror after a good workout and see how you glow.

7. A good hair skin and nail vitamin will aid replenishing any key nutrients that you missed in your diet that contribute to healthy skin.

8. Eat for good skin. Check out this article on Self.com http://www.self.com/beauty/2008/10/clear-skin-diet, it tells you what you should add to your diet if your looking for certain results.

Here are a few of my picks of healthy skin:

1.) Sweet Almond Oil: Great light moisturizer, you can use on your face and body. Add a few drops to a hot bath and you won't have to worry about moisturizing after the bath.

2.) Nivea Soft Moisturizing Cream: Light moisturizing cream that softens the skin...love, love, love for winter months.

3.) Dove Shea Butter Soap/Body Wash: Very Moisturizing, great smell. It's a must have for me.

Doing the Work....

Saturday night I was glued to the T.V. watching Iyanla's Fix my Life as she worked with 300 women  on fixing there love lives. 300 women all trying to find love, keep love, and nurture love. 300 women who all had something holding them back from love, and what was holding them back you might ask...themselves.  It was the pain, the shame, the guilt, the fear of the past that had shaped their current circumstance. Now that they recognized what was stopping them they had to " do the work". As I thought about my own life I wondered what "Doing the Work" actually meant. How can I do the work....

THEN IT HIT ME....



I need to really face the thing that was holding me back, face what's standing in my way. Here are three ways I began to do the work....

 

1. Tell the open honest truth about what it is. Say the things I don't want to say. I have a bad habit of not expressing my true feelings about certain matters. Especially when I feel as if they are going to hurt someone's feelings. So usually I am burying my feelings, and they end up turning into living breathing pain. Some times you have to be an advocate for you and say what needs to be said.

 

2. Feel the pain. Often the root of the very thing that we are running away from is pain. Be willing to feel it, willing to shed a tear, willing to be vulnerable. Once you have felt the pain what's their to be scared of...now you are stronger and know you can survive.  I have learned that it's alright to cry. Some may see it as a sign of weakness. I see it as a sign of strength, that one is able to be transparent.

 

3. Finally, picking yourself up, dusting off and trying again. Nothing shows true growth more than putting yourself out their again, loving again, starting another business, building a new relationship, trusting yourself, or just living.

 

Doing the work is not easy. Often times once you release one thing, you find something buried deep beneath that's even harder to work through. So you can either stick with what isn't working for you or be willing to do the work.

 

 

Share. What are important steps to your for overcoming obstacles in love and life?

 

 

Shameka

Why Not Be Happy...?

Most of the things I write about are adopted from my experiences in life or from my observation of other experiences. Today I have been thinking about the concept of happiness and perception. Have you ever been in a situation and had to choose how you felt about it? If you said no then something is definitely wrong. Everything we go through or experience comes with a choice from us about how will view it, learn from it, react to it, and feel about it.

Don't get me wrong their are a lot of things in this world that could cause you be negative and think negatively, but the great thing is that you can either hold on to that negativity or you could push it out and grab onto the positive. There is always positive.

So my thought is can happiness be a choice? Can I choose to see the good in life, people, and experiences? I am in a place in my life of great change and adversity witch has the possibility to cause me to adopt a negative attitude when at times I have.

For the next thirty days I'm going to do a happiness experiment. I will choose to be happy, by doing a couple of things:

1. Start a grateful journal: in this journal I will write 5 things that I am great foul for each night. I think I'm going to do this electronically

2. Give a gift just because: Giving to others is an awesome way to lift your spirits

3. Find a new hobby/ join a group: spending time with others is a way to find balance and explore new things

4. Finally: Make more healthy choices.

I believe that you can't bring more positivity into your life until you let go of the negative that is weighing you down.

I hope that you will join my happiness experiment. Lets start today...share 5 things you are great full for today.


Choose Happiness,
Shameka
.

I love my fro...

It's been 1 year and six months since I chopped my relaxed hair off. I rocked a TWA or fade as I liked to call it for a month. It was nice. I would wake up in the morning wet my hair a little put some moisturizer on and brush until it was smooth and wavy. A month latter I would add gel and watch my waves turn into a tiny curly fro. That was cute. As I went through various phases of natural hair growth I discovered my true beauty.

Trust me, it was really hard not to slap some perm on my hair and keep it moving just to please everyone who didn't like my hair. I heard things like " you need to do something with your nappy hair", " what? Are you trying to bring black back?", " Are you depressed?" All these negative things were thrown at me from the people I loved. It hurt, but it taught me that the only opinion that matters most times is my own. What's so wrong with a little kinky hair?

At the 18 month mark I am excited about my natural hair future. I've adopted some growth and healthy hair goals and am ready to sail toward two years. I plan to share with you the next phase of my hair growth journey and to encourage and inspire all those ladies who are having doubts to go ahead and do the BIG CHOP!!!!!

Stay tuned....

Why Not Start Fresh....

The first day of fall is just a few days away and I can't wait. I love the crisp, cool days of fall. They make me feel like something new is on the horizon. A time to experience something new, let go of something that's not working, make a change...so why not usher in the new season by starting fresh.

I have been itching to wash off the stale stickiness of summer and transform into a new woman... Here's the plan!

1. Get clear on my vision, what I want and where I'm going. This very important because before I can change I need to have an idea of what I'm changing into. To get clear I created a vision board and wrote a mission statement for my life. Now I'm clear and can move with intention and purpose.

2. Check my attitude. In order to be different one must think differently. I must be willing to let go of the things that are not working and pick up the things that do work.

3. Taking care of my body is essential because it will improve my mood and increase my self confidence. It will also give me the energy to work hard on my change.

4. Staying open to new adventures could have the possibility to lead me to a fresh start.

Are you starting over? What's your plan?

Standards????

 The deal with standards from my point of view...

So I recently watched think like a man for the second time. The first time I did not pay that much attention to the move their was a lot of distractions and I missed most of the key parts of the movie. The second time I watched it was to laugh at Kevin Hart. Well after the second time of really watching the move I got to thinking about having standards. Do I have any? Is there anything that I require men to do or do I just expect them to know what to do?

I have standards I just expect them to know what they are and when they don't I get upset, disappointed or frustrated...

I started to get really nervous, am I the type that gets thrown away? ( if you don't know what this is than you must read the book, its good. Great info) After thinking about it for a few seconds I realized that I am a Keeper and has always been ( smile). It's just in my nature. But what about these so called standards....Here's my problem....

I don't communicate what I expect...

I realized that I don't necessarily communicate what I want. I have it in my head, I see it, I know it but I just leave it unsaid...why you ask?

I expect him to just know....

 In reality I could save myself months of aggravation if I just lay it all out on the line..

What about you? Do you have any standards? What are they? If you don't look out for part II how to get standards.....


Shameka

Just as much as breathing...

A few weeks ago my brother forced me to watch a you tube video of this guy giving a speech to college students about success.

"You won't be successful until you want it just as much as you want to breathe"

The success guru told the story of a young man who wanted to be successful. In the story the young man asked an older very successful man to teach him how to be successful. The old man took the young man to the beach and had him walk out into the water neck deep. Once the young man is out into the water the old man held the young mans head under the water until he almost passes out. When he pulls the young man up he asked him while he was under water what did he need the most. The young man said to breathe....the old man told him that until you want success just as much as you want to breathe you won't be....


My question to you is...do you want it just as bad as you want to breathe????

Shameka

Rejection at it's finest!!!!!!

"Rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success"

Bo Bennett

I have been rolling around the thought of rejection in my head lately. The sting. The feeling of not being worthy, not being good enough. The thought of not measuring up. I have had a major fear of rejection since the first time I was ever rejected. 10 years ago, senior year of high school I crushed hard on the new boy. I thought he was FINE which was weird he wasn't at all my time. I'm more of a tall, dark, and handsome and he was a short, light, and arrogant.  I however wanted him. Which again was out of the box because I never ever really crushed on a guy except for...the guy with the sexiest smile I have seen to date (lol, thinking about it). Anyway this new guy, we will call him Double D told my best friends cousin that I was ugly. She ran back and told me, and that was the first time I questioned myself. I had never thought of myself as anything but pretty, I thought I was great and I never really depended on any validation from anyone until that tragic day. I started to ask every male I knew if I was ugly. Every time I asked I got the stank face. They all asked me what the heck I was talking about as if I was crazy. 

I've carried around the fear of rejection for 10 years, the fear of the sting, not being good enough, not measuring up. Lately I have been dealing with rejection in many forms for the last six months work related, relationship related, family related, and even internally. After each rejection I go through the sting becomes less painful, the fear less fearful, and I begin to learn from each time I hear no, it's not going to work, I don't think that's a good idea, your not the right fit. Thinking back to that day I realized that I had never talked to this dude, I have no idea if he even knew who I was, or even if I was told the truth. Then I think about how a dude I never knew even spoke to made such a negative impression in my life. Then I realized that maybe I wasn't his type...so what. I was somebodies type.

After 10 years here is what I learned from rejection:

1. You may not be the right fit for that person, company or job but it doesn't mean that you are not a great fit for something or someone else.

2. Rejection makes you strong, pushes you to work a little harder, and allows for self reflection.

3. Everything that sounds good, and looks good may not be good to you and for you, rejection is Gods way of protecting you. You may not be able to see it instantly but it will surface one day. ( this has happened to me may times, and each time it is revealed I can't help but thank God for Grace :) )

The next time you are faced with rejection don't take it so personal, look at the grace in it and wait for the revelation. Something better is just around the corner.

 You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.

Walt Disney

Shameka

He's Got Kids....

My last post The Best Part of Single sparked some interesting conversation between my cousin and I. We are like day and night, our lives are totally different. She's in a long term relationship has a beautiful house, two beautiful kids, the car of dreams and owns her own business and she's only 25.
I on the other hand am single, no kids, and have the opportunity to do whatever it is I dream of. Yet she craves my freedom and I crave her predictability. She spent the best of the afternoon trying to convince me that being single is better than being a relationship. She challenged my thoughts on compatibility, finances,and the inevitable change while within a relationship.

There was one question she asked me that really got me thinking.
" say, you and Mr. incredible are dating and you have developed feelings for him. In conversation he tells you that he has a kid. You never asked about it because you never saw him with a child and it seemed unlikely. What would you do?"

~It's hard for a man to choose a lady who's already got a baby even though his feelings may be strong....~Lyfe Jennings

This question threw me off. What
would I do? Do I let it go for fear of the drama associated with dating someone with a kid or do I give it chance. I went with the safe answer. I wouldn't turn him away because of the kid. Once I answered I thought about it more. Would I, could I date a guy with kids?

~That's why it's better just to wait, take love day to day and let love spread its own wings and if it flys away or if it decides to stay it won't be because of any unrealistic expectations y'all done made.~ Lyfe Jennings

After some deep thought I've come to the conclusion that no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. Everyone comes with their own baggage, scars, wounds, issues, and problems. It may not be in the same form for example a kid, it may be physical, mental or emotional. It may not be as heavy, and it may not be noticed in the beginning but it will show up. The beauty of it is that if you find someone who will help you carry that baggage, heal those wounds, or put salve on those scars you would be a fool to turn them away because there baggage may not be as heavy or as light as yours. A person who is strong enough to help you carry your baggage will be the same person holding you up when things get hard.

~You showed me what it really felt to be loved, kissed, held, and prayed for and wanted, nurtured , guided and to be understood...~Anthony Hamilton

The Best Part of Single

The last post talked about the blessings in being single but I think the best part is learning all about who you are as a woman. It is very important to make sure that you are at your best by developing self care routines, paying attention to becoming a healthy whole woman. I believe that a whole healthy woman passes those habits on to her family, in result building a strong healthy family.

For a woman learning to take care of oneself and making it priority while single will ultimately make it easier when the boo comes along, or the family is made. Women are natural nurturers and tend to give there all to others so being a little selfish when single is a good thing.

Here are some things to focus on while on the road to becoming happy, healthy, and whole:

1. Develop a simple health routine that includes healthy eating and regular exercise

2. Figure out ways to relieve and effectively reduce stress

3. Schedule in some you time to think about your goals or just do nothing.

4. Work to become emotionally healthy.

Shameka

K. Michelle: Silence is Loud

 That Silence is Loud.....

K. Michelle, the R&B singer from Memphis tells her best friend that the silence is loud when she goes home at night, referring to being single and going home to an empty house. When she uttered those words I thought to myself, wow...that silence is loud. 

There are times in your life when you crave silence and you want to be alone. Times when doing nothing is just as pleasing as doing something and people are always around eager to enjoy what ever life throws your way. One day that all changes. You wake up and life has fully kicked in. Your schedule if filled to the with things you have to do instead of things you really want to do. And those friends who are always around seemed to have vanished, and when the day is done and you walk into your house that silence is  so loud it practically drives you crazy when your single.

Being single I find that the older I get the more nerve wrecking it gets to be so. When I was 25, I always thought I had three more years to get married before I start to have babies. Now at 27 the clock is ticking and the silence is starting to get super loud.

Recently, I have realized that the silence is the pressure that I have been putting on myself. Pressure to live up to a standard, to please others, but most of all to check one more thing off of my list called life. I'm not going to lie one day I will get meet him and marry him, but until then I am committed to to enjoying the blessing of being single.

The blessings I've found in being single:

1.)  Time to truly get to know who you are and what you want

2.)   Ability to put your all in your career with out fear of destroying your relationship

3.)    Time to establish the woman you want to be so that you are prepared for the man that you want

4.)   A time to get clear on what you want and need from a relationship

5.)  Time to heal any past wounds, or hurts

I'm not going to lie being single is hard some times, but don't settle just because that silence is loud.

Shameka

All you single ladies out their weigh in and tell me what you do when that silence become unbearable? How do you handle being fine, fabulous, and single?

Deeper Waters

" Put out into deeper water, and let down the nets for a catch"

Luke 5:3

Jesus told Simon to cast his nets in deeper water in order to catch more fish. I have been contemplating this scripture for a few days as I try to make some very important changes in my life.

Cast your nets in deeper water to me means dig a little deeper, work a little harder, do something that you have never done. Instead of doing what you have always done do something different.

I have come to realize that some times we must leave behind the familiarity, and comfort of what we know and step out into the unknown to capture what we have always dreamed of. It wasn't easy for Simon to leave the shore and venture out into the deep to catch the fish, but he was filled with faith and his reward was more than he could ever dream of.

If your struggling with making something great happen in your life don't give up just cast your net in deeper waters. Look at it from a different angle, try a new strategy, leave behind the old and run with confidence in the directions of your dreams.

 Here are three ways to start casting  your nets in deeper water:

1. Get advice from a trusted friend. They can usually help you see things from a different angle.
2. Get a partner. Have you ever heard that two heads are better than one? Well that is usually true.
3. Start over. Throw away what is not working and add something new, do something you have never done, or try a new recipe.


 Do something that you have never done to get something that you never had.

Moguls, share! Tell me  how you have tried a new approach in love and life to achieve the impossible.


Shameka

Nail Buisness

There is something about a fresh manicure that makes me smile. I love to see my vibrant colored nails strike the keys on my key board. For some reason it makes me want to type. Like many women I was a addicted to acylic and gel nails. They instantly make your nails longer, stronger, and your polish lasts for weeks....thats great right! Yeah it is the first two times that you get them done. After than your nail bed begans to get soft and brittle from the filing; and you end up with nails to soft and sore to put anything on them. I hate it. So I have been doing my own nails. Just simple home manicures because I like to change the color up often. This week I'm going with Sally Hansens Xtreme Wear in Blue Me Away!!! The color is peacock blue, so tropical. Great for spring and summer.

Usually my home manicures only last two days tops. I know I suck at home manicures. But there are many different reasons.
1. I never use a base coat
2. I never wait for the first coat to dry completely to apply the second coat
3. I never add a top coat
4. I never reapply top coat every so often

I am really slack about my manicures.

After meeting with one of my accountablitiy buddies ( Tay ), and seeing how great her at home manicure was I decided to give it a real try.... I took some advice from Tay ( she told me about her secret weapon) and I ran to walmart to pick up some new colors and a special base coat.

She told me that her secret weapon ( which I'm sharing with you below) helps her maicure stay chipp free for a week.

PRO FX is a line of topcoats, and bases that are designed to help your manicures last longer. The bottle I purchased was the 3 in one complete manicure which is a top, base, and strenghtner all together.

I applied the top and bottom coats and the polish.....

Here are the results

I'll update you next week on how long the manicures last. I'm going to try my best not to change the colors....

Shameka

The beauty in not giving up + 1

At this present moment I am going through a season of major transitions. Everything that I thought was concrete and safe is no longer the case. In the next two months I have to find a new apartment, job,  and possible roommate. As I look through job postings and apartment ads I become extremely overwhelmed, and I just want to give up. Just go back home to mom where it is easy and comfortable. But then I pull myself up by the bootstraps and realize that I have come to far to turn around, I must remember that ...

"I'll gain the strength to fly during the process...."

It is during the journey that we learn the skills and gain the strength to fly. Giving and up and quiting is a habit that will keep you stuck. I have learned that being uncomfortable and scared is a sign that I am on the right track, that I am about to reach a break through, another level in my life.

"Be Ye Steadfast...... "

So Moguls as you encounter the difficult things in your life, be ye steadfast....don't give up because you never know the outcome. It could turn out better than you ever thought, you could fail and learn that the skills to be successful the next time.

"The worst thing you could do is be afraid to try..... "

I like apologize for being slack with my Wednesday and Friday posts the last few weeks. It seems as if I can never get a grip on life after Monday. I promise to make more of an effort to give you some quality stuff this week. Look out for my beauty/ healthy post on Wednesday and my Relationship/ Fashion post on Friday.

I appreciate all of you who take the time to read SheMogul weekly......



Shameka

Should I? Or Shouldn't I?

So this past weekend I have been struggling with should I or shouldn't I. Committing to a decision or going with my first thought or feeling was tough. I was supper scared of the consequences. I am the type of person who wants things to go right, I don't want to fail, I can't stand rejection, and I hate to redo something so when it comes to certain things I have to already know what is going to happen for me to committed. Luckily I have learned this about myself. I am not a risk taker. I like to play things safe. For the majority of my life I thought this was great. The older I get the more I see this as a hindrance.

Playing it safe keeps me from taking risks that could become something great or ability to just have fun, learn or grow. Well this weekend I finally got to see what taking risks could get me, and it got me something that I  really wanted. So here is the skinny...so I know this guy, lets call him Mr. Incredible. Well I have known Mr. Incredible for a while and I have always thought of him as a cool guy. He's the mysterious, cool, calm type. The one you can never guess what he's thinking. Well I really wanted to hang out with him but I was so scared to ask him for fear of rejection. I had spent the entire weekend thinking about if I should or if I shouldn't. Since I have been working on not giving up when things get tough I decided this is one of those times that I should not give up so I text him and asked him out for ice cream.  I waited....and waited....sweating and nervous. The five minutes I waited seem like an eternity. When he responded with a polite yes I almost jumped out of my seat.  Ice cream with Mr. Incredible turned into a movie with Mr. Incredible, by the end of the night I was all smiles.

Although I got to spend time with Mr. Incredible I also learned that I should more than I shouldn't. That some times it's better to take the risk because things could turn out better than you could ever imagine, and if it doesn't you waste less time thinking about if you should or if  you shouldn't.


Just do it.....


Shameka

Why Not Let it Fall Apart

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity.” 

Gilda Radner

Some times things don't go exactly as we plan, things happen. It's the little thing we call life, but every once in a while nothing goes exactly as we plan. Eveything we knew to be true is no longer, comfort is gone and we are left scratching and scrapping to catch ourselves from falling. Just when we thing nothing else could happen, it does and we fall.

 

WE  FALL!!!!

 

Jobs lost. love lost, relationships damaged, people leave our lives, finances dwindle, health becomes an issues....and the list goes on! The question is...WHAT DO WE DO?

LET IT HAPPEN.

Some times we are so busy trying to keep everything together we don't see the blessings in letting it fall apart. Here are some reasons to let it fall apart. Instead of trying deperately to hold on to something that's not working anymore let it go to open yourself up for something greater. Think of all the things that could happen if your were to just fall....

1. You will become stronger

2. You will have room in your life for more

3. Get to learn something new about yourself or life

4. Gives you an oppurtunity to rebuild something greater

Soo, are you going to hold the broken pieces together or are you going to rebuild something greater.....

Leave a comment and let me know how you fell and got back up greater than you were when you fell!

Shameka

Making Healthy a Way of Life

So I know this guy...lets call him Mr. X. Have you ever met a person who just looks healthy? Not particularly muscular like Vin Diesel or the Rock but healthy? Well that's Mr. X. The thing about Mr. X. is I knew him before he went on his health kick. He wasn't overweight or anything, but he was just like most of us, a slave to fried, sweet, and salty. Now when I see Mr. X. he looks like he just completed a 3 mile run. Mr. X. inspires me. So I have asked Mr. X. to help me on my weight loss journey.

After having many discussions with Mr. X. Something he told me one day is stuck in my head. He said " I'm addicted," I was like " Huh? What do you mean your addicted?" Then he said this ," It's how I live." He said it so nonchalantly.

ADDICTED TO EXERCISE + EATING RIGHT

It was at that point that I realized why my previous efforts for weight loss were unsuccessful....I wasn't mentally committed. So this time around I'm doing it on my own; no trainer, no program, no magic formula, just me, prayer and God!!!

Here is my plan.....

1. I'm breaking my weight loss goal into smaller chucks, 10 pounds at a time.

2. Changing the focus of my goal. Instead of my goal being weight loss it will be to be make being healthy a priority with the perk of weight loss

3. I'm adding a challenge: to run for 30 minutes 4x a week, drink 8 glasses of water a day, and get all my food groups in everyday.....

4. Reward myself consistently for the good I do: my first reward will be a cute pair of running shoes

5. Check in with my accountability buddy ( Mr. X.) once or twice a week. Maybe we will get together and go for a run...


Ladies I have come to realize that being healthy is a choice that we make every moment of everyday. It is something that we must personally master and it's not easy. Being healthy should be a lifestyle not a goal, that's the only way to be successful....


How are you reaching your fitness goals? Are you taking it as serious as you should? Share.

Why Not Be Confident + How

Not feeling confident

"Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe with you.”

Cynthia Kersey

Self Confidence is a tricky thing. It is a reflection of what we think of ourselves. It can be seen in how we handle situations, relationships, predict success and hold us back from reaching our potential. Having self confidence is important in having a life worth living.

finding my confidence!!!!

self-con·fi·dence

realistic confidence in one's own judgment, ability, power, etc.

Before we get into self confidence I want to clear this up, people often assume that people who are loud and out their are confident,  that people who always have something to say and are the center of attention are the picture of confidence. This may be true. However to all you introverts out there this does not mean that you are not confident. It just means that your personality caters to intimate settings and calm and soft environments. This does not mean that you are not confident.

Having confidence hinges on one's belief in one's self., that is projected on to other things in our lives. Think about the story you tell yourself before you do something very important? Is it a positive story or a negative story? For example if you see your boy friend/ girl friend smiling at another person, do you tell yourself that something may be going with them, and that you are not good enough for some reason? Or do you think, hum he/she is cute, maybe they know each other from some time ago, and then ask him or her about it? If you picked the first option odds are your self confidence needs work....

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” 

Norman Vincent Peale

Here's how to work toward having more self confidence...

1. Change your thoughts!

 instead of thinking negative about everything, switch on the positive. Believe that you can do anything and you can!

2. Accept what you can't change and change the things you can't!

why dwell on things that you can't change or you don't have ? It will only make you crazy. Each day work on things that you can change to make you better, and be grateful for the things that you have today.

3. Compete and Compare yourself to yourself not to others!

Instead of focusing what others are doing, focus on you! How can I be better?

 

found that Confident woman inside.....

Are you confident? If not acknowledge it and work on it.....

Shameka

Fit Book +1

So I have this goal to loose 50 pounds for a number of reasons. Have you ever gained so much weight that you just feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortble in your own skin? Well thats how I feel at this moment. So I need to make a change. I have been making excuses for years about why I can't loose the weight. My number one excuse is that I'll always be over weight. Can we say self sabotage. Well I have finally called myself out. I know that if I dont get control now then in a few years I could be opening myself up for illness that I prefer to prevent such as diabetes. Plus, I have a lot to accomplish on this earth and I cant do it if I am not at my best.

With that in mind.....while I was in target I came across this:

It's a FITBOOK...it allows me to track my progress, list goals, record my nutrition and water intake. It is amazing. If you want to say accountable for your fitness goals than FITBOOK is for you. There is power in writing things down. You can pick FITBOOK up at your local TARGET or from AMAZON. Prices range ( depending on where you purchase) between $20.00 & $25.00!

I can't wait to track my fitness goals in my FIT BOOK! Getting started on my first 10 pounds!!!!!! I'll keep you updated!

Purty Persimmon by Wet & Wild

I fell in love with it as soon as I swiped the matte orange on my lips!!!!

What do you think?

$1.99@ CVS

I love this orange, perfect for a day out and about!!! The color is bright, bold and daring. It makes other take a second look in a GOOD way. Take a step outside of your comfort zone and find a daring color to rock this spring/summer. I have a couple that I will be making signatures.

Hey ladies I need your help, if you have ever been on a weightloss journey give me some advice. What worked? What didn't? I'm determined to shed the pounds! 

Why Not Be Who You Want to Be

“...be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be"
Henry David Thoreau

As a child I talked like a child, thought, like a child and did as a child. When I became a woman I think I left all of that behind...or did I? As children life is layed out in front of us in a strategic plan. Our parents told us what time to wake up, eat, sleep, how to dress, what to say, what not to say, what decisions to make, which one not to make, and the list goes on.... As we get older parents are suppose to back away and let us grow into ourselves figure things out and become who we are ment to be in this world. Well some time it just doesnt go as planned, either we get so use to being told what to do and how we are unable to think for ourselves and spend our lives looking for validation from everyone else.
Or, we become molded into others expectations of ourselves, and spend our lives fighting who we are as opposed to who we should be.

“Never complain, never explain. Resist the temptation to defend yourself or make excuses.”  Brian Tracy

So you are not competely there yet, thats fine, neither am I. The most important piece of this puzzle is realizing it. It's really sad if others can see that you are living below your potential and you can't. Once you know then you can plan your next steps. Think about it. Are you a Mogul who just wants to be a mom, or a mom who needs to be a Mogul, or you someone who lives for fashion but your wardrobe tells a totally different story. Are you a lawyer who would rather save the rain forest. Who are you? What are you? How do you describe yourself?

“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” Coco Chanel

We only get one chance at this thing called life. It would be really sad to spend it living in a box that others have put us in. I choose to be Shameka:

compassionate, ambitous, beautiful inside and out, vulnerable yet strong, a seeker of balance, a soon to be size 12, cool yet chic, writer, blogger, publisher, Entreprenuer on the cover of Forbes, world wide traveler, life changer, ME!!!!!! Thats all I want to be!

Share!!!!  Who are you?????

Olivia Pope: Style to Watch +1

I'm hooked on ABC's new show scandal. A drama created by Shonda Grimes the woman behind Grey's Anatomy, I should have known it was going to be good. It harnesses the power to pull me the depths of reality television.

Taken from the Internet

Olivia Pope, played by the fabulous Kerry Washington is in the crisis management business, and former right hand to the pres. Her style is simple, luxurious, with a hint of femine power. As the show goes on I can't wait to see what happens with her style.

Have you caught Scandal? What do you think of the new ABC hit?

• TO  DO SUMMER 2012....FALL IN LOVE

As things in my life change and I develop and grow. I realize that there is one area of my life that I want to work on, and that's my relationships, in hopes to find Love. I hate to say it but I have been singe for a very long time and I think it is about time to get back on the scene. So ladies here is my pitch:

I'm looking for a friendship that has the potiential to grow and develop into Greatness!!! Men only Please....

So my questions to you... if you are boo'ed up, how did you meet him? If you single and mingling do you have any advice?

Snacks for the road...

So I have been on a very difficult journey for a while. I have been trying to adopt a more healthy life style. Eating more fresh foods, cooking more, and staying away from those things I know will pack on the pounds. I must say that the minute I know that I am on the right track I am tempted or swayed by something rich and delicious. It doesnt help that I am always running around so keeping a healthy snack in my bag helps me combat those cravings. Some times snacking just isn't easy.

I must say that I love the simple things in life although I tend to make things a little more complicated than they need to be most times. Well that's just me. There is one thing that overwhelms me and I must keep it simple and that is snacking healthy. Here are my go to healthy snacks that survive the bottomless pit of my shoulder bag...

1. Bannana + peanut butter. It fills me up for the in between time.
2. Cheese n cracker, a great little luxury I save for quiet time at work or home
3. Kahsi dark mocha almond bars are great for the sweet tooth.

What do you slip in your bag to keep you going during the day? I'm looking for more variety in my snacking.


Shameka

Whats Your Story?

So I have recently been watching Opera's Life Class on OWN. If you have not been tuning in I highly suggest that you do. It airs on Monday nights at 8:00 p.m. eastern standard time. The last two sessions that I watched were talking about your story. The dialogue that you tell yourself which either keeps you stuck or empowers you. At first I was a little confused. A story? Was their actually something that I was telling myself repeatedly that keeps me stagnant. I thought and I searched  my brain and I found that one little nugget has really kept me from excelling my entire life.

" Your not good enough, you don't deserve the best!"

Now the question is how did I form this particular story? Where did this belief of my life come from. Well it was birthed during various childhood experiences that mimicked each other. See I was a care giver my entire childhood, which meant I often sacrificed my needs and wants for the needs and wants of others. This required me to put myself second often. After years of being second I learned that I only deserved what was left, which often time was not great.

This particular story has affected many parts of my life. It affects how I interact with family members, co-workers, and even how I see myself.  When you think that you don't deserve the best it causes you to let go of opportunities for fear that you wont measure up. Now that I know my story I can work to change my story, change it to a story that empowers me.

Whats the story that you tell yourself? Does it keep you stuck? Does it empower you? I want to know what you think.


Shameka

EOS Ultra Moisterizing Shave Cream

taken from the Internet

The weather is warming up and it's time to shed some articles of clothing, with that being said the skin has to be popping ( in the words of Tamara Braxton). That means all those unsightly hairs that have been hidden under jeans, tights, and trousers need to be taken care of ASAP.

While shopping in one of my favorite stores (target) I ran across eos shave cream. I started not to purchase it because of the hefty price of $ 3.49 ( don't hold me to that). I'd  much rather have picked up a can of shaving cream for a dollar as long as it did the job, I did not really care. Their were two reasons that I decided to purchase the product.

1. I have the eos lip balm and it's amazing
2. The front of the bottle says that you can shave wet of dry, which it perfect for those quick touch ups.

So I decided to get the pomegranate raspberry and I went home and tried it on my legs. I must say that it lives up to the claims on the back of the bottle, which are:

This non-foaming cream boosts skin's moisture level and keeps it smooth long after you're done shaving. It's so moisturizing, you can shave wet of dry. And eos provides a closer shave, even helping to prevent those little razor bumps.

Who knows? You might even look forward to shaving....oh ladies I really look forward to shaving.

I lathered the lotion on my legs and went to work. I shaved without water and it was effortless, quick and not messy at all.

So for all of you ladies who need that quick and effortless shave, eos is for you! I will be that I keep this stocked in the bathroom cabinet.


If you have tried it, let me know what you think.




Shameka

Passion and the Pursuit of Self

Opera's Life Class is scheduled on my calendar every Monday night at 8. During the two hours I reflect, learn,  and become reinspired to keep going on my journey to have the greatest life I can, and to move and motivate you to do the same.

The last show was all about how passion drives purpose. It got me thinking about my true authentic self and how she lies with in my passion. I am very passionate about the development of self and through my own need to be better gives others the permission to be better.  As Marianne Williamson says "when we shine we give other the right to shine". So with this thought in mind I have realized I can only be who I was meant to be only when I am centering my life around the thing or things that I am passionate about.

What are your thoughts on this?

Shameka

Monday Inspirtation: Killing Self Doubt!

For you were not given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-discipline

2 Timothy 1:7

It's hard! I don't know? I don't know how. I'm unsure. I may be wrong. What am I doing? These are all the phrases that roll through my brain when I am doubting myself. From my experience doubt has kept me from being bold, and having that spirit of power. It has kept me in my comfort zone, robbed me of the opportunity to stretch my wings and fly. As I sit on the edge of a major transition in my life, one that I know can make me or break me all the times that I have doubted myself scroll across the screen in my brain. It is in this specific moment in time where self doubt can cause me to stay in an unhealthy place. Self doubt told me that I was not good enough, that I did not know what I was doing, no one would listen to me, and ultimately I did not matter. Those thoughts killed my confidence and made me want to hide behind a rock many days. As I work on being Bold! I'm ready to KILL Doubt!

Here's the Plan:

1. Recognize: It's hard to kill something if you don't have it in your sights. I'm going to be checking for that little bugger and squashing it as soon as the thought enters into my head.

2. Forget what others think: One big trigger for doubt for me is what others will think of me. I want to be perfect, sweet, nice and charming, and I want others to think of me that way, so before I do anything I always think of what others will think. This hinders me from speaking my mind often for fear of being wrong. So now I say, who cares! The only way that you can learn the right answer some times is to give the wrong one.

3. Actions speak louder than words: Doubt keeps me from doing loads of things. I usually remain in a cycle of should I or should I not. Well no more of that. It's time to step out on faith. I'm ready to see where faith leads me.

Something tells me that pushing doubt out of the way could lead me right to my dreams!!!!!

Leave a comment and let me know what you think about this post.

I hope you enjoy,

Shameka